Gloomy Afternoon As It Knows.....

Today afternoon is kind of gloomy even it is bright with no indication of raining. Perhaps it knows what had happened to my Lau's extended family members whereby my granduncle has passed away this morning.

It was a shock for me when my Mummy called me at about 10+AM to inform the news. As I prepared for the worst earlier, yet the sad feeling still linger around when I got to know the news. 

My granduncle suffered from mouth cancer few months back and its condition was better when I visited him few weeks back. However, Keng Choong told me that his condition suddenly got worst during Christmas and he could not recognized some of us and only manage to bed rest most of the time. Although we prepared the worst, most of us still hoping his condition change. But thing like this is beyond our control.

I still remember when I was small, Keng Choong and I used to go back to his farm in Bangi to spend the weekend and some times our school holidays. We will play all sort of things like cycling, helping around the farm, fishing and etc things that we are unable to do in city. I still remembered I spent my chickenpox days at his farm house as Mummy and Keng Choong is following Papa to outstation. Those were the days which now lies in our memory.

May God bless his soul and rest in peace.

Second Attempt for Sweden Beef Meatballs

Ken's portion

I make second attempt for Sweden beef meatballs tonight as we discovered a different brand of beef meatballs in hypermarket the other day.

Ezel's portion

Ken suggests me to fried it straight instead of boiling it first. Apart from the beef meatballs, I also fried some french fries which are Ken's and Ezel's favorite.

Close-up of Ezel's portion

I like greenery or some colors on my foods. Thus, I steamed some potatoes, carrots sticks, broccoli, cauliflower and french beans as side dishes. For the sauce, I tried different method this attempt but still fail to cook a thick sauce.

My portion

Sweden Dinner - Beef Meatballs

Ken's portion

Tonight I make Sweden beef meatballs as dinner. It is frozen beef meatballs that I bought from the grocery store inside Tasik Heights compound. It can be treated as celebration on our move back dinner.

Ezel's portion

Apart from the beef meatballs, I also steamed some potatoes, carrots sticks, broccoli and french beans as side dishes. For the sauce, I try to mix the boiled beef meatballs' soup with some flour and milk. But I must admit that it has failed as it would not want to be thicken.

My portion

My portion for tomorrow lunch

Vampire Diaries Season One - Done

Yesterday night I finally finished the last episode of Vampire Diaries season one. I am now anxiously waiting for season two as the last episode really give an unexpected ending or shall I say a new beginning for season two?

The season two is airing at US on the CW Television Network beginning 09 September 2010 and to date, it is on its eighth episode. Although I know that it can be downloaded over the Internet for season two, I am the kind of person who like to watch when the season ended.

In the meantime, shall I save some money and grab one or two novels of this series? Thinking hard.....

Vampire Diaries

Vampire Diaries Season One Poster

I watched few of the episodes of Vampire Diaries season one yesterday night as I could not fall asleep perhaps due to the warm and humid weather.

I saw this series in local television station, 8TV before and decided to watch the whole series. I thought it is another 'Twilight' kind of story. But the story of Vampire Diaries is different from Twilight Saga even there are no doubt some similarities - love between human and vampire and the main character is 'vegetarian'. However, the major difference is that the love triangle is between two (2) blood brothers to a popular high school human girl rather than love triangle between vampire and werewolf to a humble high school human girl as in Twilight. 

After the first episode, I cannot help myself but to click on the next episode till I end up watching four (4) episodes in a row of one night. I started to fall for it. I started to google more information and I got to know that it is actually based on a series of novel by L.J.Smith.

Well, I started to have the urge to own the collection of the novels as read somewhere that one of the producer, Kevin Williamson wants the small town to be the main focus rather than the high school. I guess I can go in depth on the characters and stories if I read the novels. So far, the writer has produced total of seven (7) books to year namely :

1) The Awakening (1991)

2) The Struggle (1991)

3) The Fury (1991)

4) Dark Reunion (1992)

5) The Return: Nightfall (2009)

6) The Return: Shadow Souls (2010)

7) The Return: Midnight (2011)

She even writes about the main vampire character, Stefan's diaries with prediction of total of three (3) titles whereby the first title, Stefan's Diaries : Origins released in 2010. Guess if I really want to catch up with the novels, I really need to save up a lot! Or should I just stick to the series?

Is financial issue and in-laws a major problem in a relationship and will make people attitude change? 

Well, it all depends how people see it and define it right? But for me, these two are a major issues especially when two of them meet each other in a wrong timing (I meant the issues not the couple).

People always say that marriage is a matter between two people and it is not concern other people. People also say that you are marry to your partner and not his/her family. If that so, why I am facing this issue now?

When the in-laws issue is still being hot, then comes along the financial issue to stir and add fire on top of the heat oil. When come to financial issue, I always ask myself, "Am I not good enough and useless?" Why I asks myself such question? 

First, I have a degree but my career is not reaching supervisory or managerial level whereas people and friends around me is reaching that level or at least earning higher number of salary. So, am I in a wrong career path or I just do not have the ability to reach higher and get higher pay? I really do not know.

Second, am I spending too much? I really do not know what to write as all the things that we spent on is necessaries for survival. Even before I spent on a minor item, I will survey around for days before deciding to buy and sometimes I just totally forget about it. There are few times I really have that very strong urge to buy the item I wanted but I refrain and control myself by thinking of the consequences. Even sometimes I control my urge by window shopping many times till my urge for buying gone just by looking at the item many times like I have owned it.

So, why am I so in debts and poor? Why? Why? Why? And why you want to still treat me like this? Why things cannot be solve by talking out aloud? You feel the same and so do I!

Soft/Corn Perm

I think today is my longest hours I spent in a saloon. Minus the waiting time, I spent almost five (5) hours perming this soft or corn style perm.

It is my first time after a very, very, very long time that I perm my hair. I been considering for so long whether to do this perm or not as I afraid this corn style perm do not suit me. Finally, I decided to do it.

The lady boss is very kind as she explains that she will use the traditional way instead of the faster but will damage my hair way. She explains that the faster way is using a lot of chemical to smooth and soften the hair texture until you can pull your hair like a rubber. Then, using the electronic perm machine, she will perm your hair until the 'corn' texture is seen. She said that this will damage my hair and I will regret because I cannot undone the corn perm later if I do not like. Furthermore, my hair will damage and took a very long time to heal. She reluctant to use this method as well and frankly speaking, she returned the perming set to the supplier due to the damage she experienced.

She recommends me and use the traditional way to perm which is make many tiny braided tie-up. Then, she put the chemical on them to 'marinate' the tie-up so that it stay curly after untie them. The chemical she uses really so powerful that it sting my neck when it dropped on to my skin. Foolishly, I thought it is normal but actually I need to inform her when the chemical dropped on my skin. She ended up put some cream for me to soothe the redness and sting.

Front look

Finally, the whole process is done and I actually looks good with this soft or corn perm. But Ken as always, teases me that I look like mop. :(

Back look

Appreciation Candy from Manager

Message from my manager

I got this small candy jar from my manager as his appreciation to me on the works I assisted him. It is very kind of him.

IBM Sweet Appreciation Day

This candies are specially made or designed for IBM by Sticky in 1 Utama in conjunction of "IBM Sweet Appreciation Day". 

Different kind of colors and favors

There are few different designs of the candies which is unique. They use different colors and favors to make those patterns and wording.

Happy Fifth Anniversary

Today mark the fifth wedding anniversary with my beloved husband, Ken. But we have known each other for a decade! I cannot imagine that time past really fast like a blink of eyes.

What I can say about him? Well, he is undoubtedly a loving husband even I make very bad fuss and attitude sometimes. He is undoubtedly a caring father to our adorable three and a half years old daughter, Ezel even sometimes she makes him really mad and angry. If you asks me to lead a life without him, I says, "Please kill me right now!" because I really cannot imagine my life without him!

Although the past few years has been difficult for us especially financially, I believe we can breakthrough the difficult time together and into a brighter future in years to come. Hang in there, hubby!

With love, hugs and kisses always and forever, you are always in my heart! 

Improving.....

I was awake in middle of the night to grab my blanket and I realize that the room door is wide open. I asks Ken in the sleep if he keeps the door open. He said yes and I continued my sleep.

However, do not know what time, Ezel came crying and ask me to sleep with her. So, I brings her to her room and asks her to sleep on her bed while me sleep on the floor matted with her old small baby's mattress. She falls back asleep very fast and I went back to my room to continue my sleep.

Well, the situation is improving but it is really takes time to work thing out.

Ken said that he will take the outside side of the bed and asks me to sleep inside side of the bed tonight so that Ezel would know disturb me. Ken do not want Ezel disturb my sleep. What a nice and caring husband! *Muaks*

Ezel, please be a good girl tonight and sleep by your own.

The Story Continues

It is time for Ezel to go to bed. She been in her room since dinner to watch her cartoon. From time to time, she will come out to the living room and tease us a bit. 

But when the time is getting late and her sleepiness is crawling to her mind, she knows and will ask for her milk. However, we refused to give her as she will ask again when she really go to bed later. After so much of nagging, finally I made the milk to her and ask her to go to bed alone while Ken and I stay in living room watching television.

Then, we decided to sleep as well. Since we moved our study tables back to our room and re-arrange the room earlier in the afternoon, there is no need to be in the living room. So, we tell Ezel that we will go to bed and she sleep in her bed. Ken switched off the lights in the living room. 

After few minutes in our room, Ezel come knocking on our room and seem wanted to cry. Ken brings her back to the room and tell her that she should sleep alone like other kids and promised her that she will get many toys if she sleep alone. After 20 minutes passed, Ken gave up and come out telling me that he wasted a lot of saliva to tell her. But she is yet to be asleep.

About five minutes later, Ezel come knocking again but this time we ignore her. She do not dare to open the door and keeps a low weeping outside the door. A few minutes gone and she still standing outside our room and her weeping goes louder. I think she is afraid of the dark surrounding.

Soon I opened the door, she cried out and said she wants light. Ken suggested to switch on the normal light and pat her to sleep. I did what Ken suggested and she is asleep in 10 minutes. I went back to the room to get my sleep as well.

The Beginning is Always the Hardest

Finally, the sky is bright. I wake up and found that Ken is not beside me. So, I went to Ezel's room and found him sleeping on the floor! I wake him up and took his place while he went back to our room to continue sleep.

Later, Ezel was awake and I make her a bottle of milk and switch on her favourite cartoon on the television in her room. Then, I went back to my own room to continue sleep. Occasionally, I will wake up and have a peek on Ezel because she did not come to our room to disturb us and there is a total silent. I peek on her as I afraid, touch wood, something happened to her. But, she stays in her room and watch her favourite cartoon.

I think the beginning of everything is always the hardest. Hope tonight gets better.

A Night Without Ezel

Ezel has been sleeping in her own room now. After few hours doing our own stuffs at the new space in the living room, Ken and I finally decided to go to bed as well.

Before asleep, Ken said that finally Ezel sleep on her own. As he speaks, suddenly, he said that he missed her even it is only few meters away! Ken said even now is only few meters away, he missed her so much. He said he felt that way because he been caring for her since she was born. 

Then, I said, "If one day when she grown up and get married, I think you will weep very badly". 

"I have the same feeling too", he said.

Not long into the chat, suddenly our room door opened and Ezel come in with a crying face! She keeps crying and I bet she is scare as she sees no one in her new room except herself. Then, I ask her to go pee and bring her back to her room and accompany her to sleep. She fell back to sleep after a moment and I move back to my own room to sleep as well.

Twilight Saga Eclipse Trailer

It has been a while since I read the last chapter of Breaking Dawn. Oooppppssss.....I think I have not finished the last chapter of Breaking Dawn if I am not mistaken. Anyway, even the last chapter is not finished, the end is anticipated. Thus, there is no more suspend to me to read on. I think that is the reason I kept the last chapter unread.

Anyway, my passion towards Twilight Saga has been a bit down ever since the last screening of New Moon. In addition to that, during that time, I am reading and about to finish Breaking Dawn. Thus, the passion has lost its way somewhere.

Until today, when I click to Stephenie Meyer's website and Twilight Saga Official website and I watch the trailers, the passion find its way back to me! Somehow, I have to admit that I am kind of forgotten what Eclipse is about. :(

Then, I am kind of wonder. Is Eclipse storyline is not attractive enough for me to remember or I just leave the memory behind for a while? I really do not know but when I get the glimpse of the trailers, the memories of Eclipse comes back to me. Then, I have a sudden gesture to re-read the novel!

Somehow, I asks myself a simple question, "Do you have the time?". "Yes, do I have the time?". I echoed the question again in my mind. I am really not sure if I have the time as I need to make some cards - been addicted to my new hobby recently. Yesterday I plan to make a thank you plus hello card to my best friend but I ended up doing nothing.

Am I just wasting time or just do not have time? The question is not answerable by me. Let see what happens tonight.....

I Feel Like.....

I feel so down now and for the past few days. I never felt so down and moody. This time it is hitting me so hard!

I really feel like telling those people that I wanted to commit suicide if you keeps pushing me! I really meant it! I just do not know what else to do.

I feel like living and surviving suddenly become the hardest thing to do now. I just cannot bear to continue to live on like this. I feel like keep myself hidden somewhere and forget all about it! But I cannot just do that!

God, please, please, please help me to go thru this for the sake of my little daughter and my husband! I really would like to live on and go on with life but I am so struggling now! Please give me some hints and guidance!

Another Year Has Gone and the 'Three' is Coming to Visit Soon!

The title said it all!

My New Hobby - Crafting!!!

I always have the passion for making mini cards during the festive season like Christmas, Chinese New Year, Valentine Days and etc but the fire of the passion is very small back then. Thus, I only made the cards during festive seasons.

However, ever since I made my first farewell scrapbook for Poh Ling's farewell, I am really into it and my passion for making crafty things using paper and some supplies really burned up! Perhaps it is also due to some of my colleagues are leaving one by one.

I really sad they are leaving but also happy for them. Thus, I made the farewell scrapbook for them (with sharing costs with other colleagues) so that the leaving colleague will have a good memory when she/he is thought back the memory working together.

Here is the link to my crafty works - Message Keeper.

New Moon Novel Concluded; Starting Eclipse Novel

It is past 1AM when I finished the last chapter of New Moon novel titled "Epilogue : Treaty". I do not really like this chapter as I felt Bella very selfish whereby he wants both Edward and Jacob. It is very well-known issue that both of them (Edward as vampire and Jacob as werewolf) can never be together but yet Bella would like to have them both at the same time. I really felt that she is so selfish and keeps pushing Jacob to the extreme by using his promise.

I been there myself once; in Bella situation and the urge of selfishness of having two things at once when it never possible. In the end, we have to lose one to gain another else you will lose both. But in Bella situation, Edward will never leave her again making Bella indirectly no need to make any choice or decision. Due to that, she keeps pushing Jacob back to the used-to-have relationship. I have my pity and sympathy on Jacob as he have to bear the vulverable feeling towards Bella. I would feel that Jacob feels Bella is so near yet so far for him to hold or catch. Pity him.....

If you ask me to review this novel, it is more touching and feeling than the first book, Twilight especially in chapter three, "The End". Chapters in New Moon illustrates how Bella suffering after Edward leave her alone in Forks and how Bella is connected and almost felt in love with Jacob. It is very detailed that sometime I felt that I am inside or just beside the characters. As usual, I would smile if I found something sweet with the conversations between the characters.

As I am too spoilted by the trailer and sneak peek of New Moon movie, my mind keeps bring back and compare the chapters I am reading with the soon to be in cinema, New Moon movie. Sometimes I asks myself when or which chapter it is for that scene in New Moon movie. Then, I started to realize that like Twilight, New Moon will have some differences between the movie and the novel. Well, that is actually expected as the director cannot put every chapters and the whole novel of 563 pages into a two hours and fifteen minutes movie! If Chris Weitz going to do that, I am not sure how long New Moon movie runtime would be.

Anyhow, the last paragraph of New Moon novel do not conclude much and I felt like hanging. Luckily I know that there is the next novel, Eclipse to continue the story. Else, I am not sure how I want to satisfy by urge.

This time I really want to finish Eclipse novel before anything related to Eclipse movie release so that I do not have any images, scenes and doubts in my mind when reading it. Synopsis would not harm much, thought. :P

Eclipse, here I come to defeat you!

November 2009 Finally Arrive!

Gosh! Finally November is here!

Why I am so excited about it? It is because of three (3) things below :
1) Ken's birthday on 18 November
2) Ezel's third birthday on 26 November
3) Twilight Saga : New Moon premiere on 20 November (not sure about Malaysia actual screening date yet)

In dedication to Twilight Saga : New Moon premiere and addication to it, I  decided to make my own desktop calendar using New Moon poster. I usually make my own desktop calendar theme using Snoopy character because I like Snoopy. Secondly, I am unable to find much the design I really wanted. Thus, I created and design my own.

However, this month, November, I decided to change a bit. Instead of using Snoopy, I uses New Moon poster! Here is the outcome and feel free to download if you want. Sharing is caring.....

My own made desktop calendar with Twilight Saga : New Moon theme

   

This is how my own made Twilight Saga : New Moon theme wallpaper looks like on my desktop

Twilight Saga New Moon : Chapter 3 - The End

Yesterday night or this morning (yeah.....it is past 12 midnight), I finished New Moon novel chapter three titled "The End". After I finished the chapter, I felt myself in Bella's situation - not able to think properly and not sure what is going on surround her. I feel like crying thinking that Edward is leaving her just like that!

I felt the pain she suffered when Edward inform her that he is leaving her like he never existed. That kind of painfulness like your heart being needled by thousand of needles and you feel nothing about your arms and legs. Again, I think Stephanie Meyer did a very good job in describing the situation and the feeling. Or it is because I am been in the position before which makes me have the same feeling? Or it is because I watched the trailer before which enable me to virtualize more? I am really not sure about that. All I know that I am really feeling the pain that Bella felt and almost cried out.

Then, I flip thru the next chapter like usual to read the first paragraph before closing the book and go to bed. Somehow, I only managed to flip thru four (4) pages of months written on each of the pages meaning four (4) months has passed since Edward leaving Bella behind. That is very insteresting way to potray the timeline and I never come across in other novels. This is very new and creative! Good job, Stephanie!

But I did not manage to read chapter four. I am too tried and I need sometime to digest the chapter three. The feeling will not gone just like flipping the four (4) pages away. It is still in my head.

Nevertheless, I will continue chapter four tonight.